BodnerBrasher659

Why do we do it? Why do we keep focusing on ourselves when it requires therefore much energy, when w...

Do you ever think that it takes more work, more out of you mentally, to live a existence than it did to live less-than-consciously? Several years ago I'd a T-shirt made out of the old saying, Its A Bitch Being Conscious. I used it on the first day of my Journey Into Ecstasy class intensive because I can rely on it to evoke instant, knowing laughter from most of the individuals.

So why do we take action? Why do we keep working on ourselves when it requires so much energy, when wed often relatively be zoned out, serve a cold one, light a joint or cigarette, or get the remote? Why do we put ourselves through seeming torture for no assured rewards, often paying a significant price for the advantage of doing so? Are we only masochists disguised as hunters and healers? Is ignorance perhaps, if not the most effective plan, at the very least a better one than continual self-examination? Who's it that said that the unexamined life isn't worth living? Lots of people might argue.

I understand that Im designed to answer these rhetorical, intro questions for you personally in this section. Im likely to justify and verify all your hard work, the cash spent on instruction, therapy, classes, and books, the courage youve mustered to manage your demons. However you know, why everyone does it I dont know.

When my coaching clients show how difficult this work sometimes is all I will do is look, agree, and cheerlead. I say such things as, Doesnt clarity feel much better than confusion? Doesnt feeling your emotions feel a lot better than travelling numb? Sometimes they give in and acknowledge that they like surviving in an awakened and aware state. Often they provide the look to me that lets me know Im skating on thin ice, that their answer just might be a resounding No! Basically werent so chipper.

I could relate. I prefer the temporary high that blaming and playing the victim give so well. Accusing feeds my ego and playing the victim permits me to relinquish responsibility for my life. Who wouldnt say, Bring it on!

But after the high leaves, Im caught with all my hangover symptoms: melancholy, lower self-esteem, helplessness, and hopelessness. I wake up and see in the mirror someone who dealt the excitement of possibility for the difficulty of inevitability, someone who is trapped in a trench, reading from a very dull software, worrying often and loudly. I see someone who, while familiar, is significantly less than remarkable.

Kicking and screaming, or at least crying, I stop the chatter and advise that experience in the mirror what the aim of awareness is: happiness. I tell myself that I am more than the sum of my fears, self-judgments, and limiting beliefs. I quiet the talk long enough to hear my tones whispers. And when I persevere, I do sometimes fall onto great and sudden joy. More often, I find myself feeling at the least a small measure of peace. Im grateful for that. Is it all worth it? I assume each of us has to answer that question for ourselves. qr code